Pizza in the News Roundup

There have been a couple silly news item this week revolving around pizza, so I figured it was a good opportunity for story time.

First up, we have a police officer from Gowanda, NY whose hunger nearly landed him in jail. According to WIVB.com, a broadcast channel out of Buffalo, the police officer accepted free pizza as payment for dropping a traffic ticket.

The former officer, Jason Miller, was charged with official misconduct and ended up with 3 years probation following a sentencing on Thurs., Oct. 14. WIVB states that "Miller has also admitted in the past to staging his own shooting by shooting himself in his bullet-proof vest."

In North Liberty, Iowa, an intoxicated man was arrested after assaulting a peace officer with a pizza box on Thurs., Oct. 14.

According to KCRG-TV9, Michael J. Koski, 40, threw a pizza box and glasses at a responding officer before attempting to make a run for it. Koski was taken down by a taser and handcuffed, but he still continued his assault by attempting to bite an officer's knee.

Koski faces charges of assault on peace officers, public intoxication and interference with official acts.

Bowling Green isn't without its own pizza related crime. According to a Bowling Green Police Divison report, a pizza delivery man was attempting to make two deliveries within the 900 block of Klotz Road. After receiving no answer at either residence, he returned to his vehicle to find three pizzas and a hot bag missing. One of the residents who allegedly ordered the pizza denied making the call. The other could not be reached.

I find all of these acts of pizza related crimes to be on the ridiculous side. First of all, if you are police officer and you take a bribe of free pizza, you are some kind of stupid. You aren't good at being a cop and worse, you aren't even good at being a crooked cop on top of that.

Second, why would anyone think a pizza box was a good weapon? Was it Mr. Koski's goal to knock the officer unconscious with a cardboard box? Did he think the 0.5 seconds it would take the officer to knock the box aside would give him time to run away? I am sort of surprised that the man didn't explode when he was tazed, because the amount of alcohol he had to being drinking sounds like it should made him combustible.

Finally, the Bowling Green Pizza Caper of September 2010 was clearly the work of a crack team of vault busters. I just picture the cast of Ocean's Eleven sitting in a bush, waiting for unsuspecting delivery driver to attempt his delivery. I actually hoped we would see more premeditated pizza burglaries following this one, but unfortunately the pizza bandits never went serial.